Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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