I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
