if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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