idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
