So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
My balls are so social today.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
