I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
