He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
This toilet bowl is my home.
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