We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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