Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
