You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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