me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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