get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
