he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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