...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
