I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
