The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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