i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
