if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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