just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
