Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
