Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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