so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
My ATM looks so different sober.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
