i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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