She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I want to make a zoo with you.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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