It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
