She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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