What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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