There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
