we're blogging at a bar
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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