he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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