Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
True strength comes from lack of pants
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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