I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
