also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
