I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Success! We fucked roommates!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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