ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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