My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
