We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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