I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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