she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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