my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
