News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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