Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
