This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
