My room smells like vodka and shame
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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