I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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