Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
