he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
