Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
