You can't motorboat a personality
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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