That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
it was like his penis was on wheels.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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